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Not now, but Soon

More than a month since my last post…we did the pt and it came out positive.

we were excited and ecstatic…

dec 6:

we went to my OB to have myself checked… i thought it was going to be a memorable experience but I was only told to start drinking folic acid and anmum…

dec 12:

after coming back from our usual breakfast at chona’s, my stomach felt a rumble which made me run for the toilet, it was a sudden lbm and more— i saw brown spots :(

i texted my ob immediately and was told to go to the ER of MCI… I was admitted for threathened abortion and possible ectopic pregnancy… I was not allowed to eat or drink (that was really hard after having an LBM).

My OB was not in the hospital so another doctor (a male!) did the TVs.  According to him, no gestational sac can be seen in my uterus.

I was devastated with something I didn’t even know…

I was sent up to my room to rest and waited…
nighttime came and no visit yet from my doctor… nothing just rest with no food and water.

I was still having spots and little trickles of blood when I pee.

I slept a little through the night, mindful of what will happen next.

The next day came, spotting stopped.
OB arrived and met me at the ultrasound room for another ultrasound. Same thing.
I asked if I could go home, she said I could… but she also told me that the possibility of keeping the baby is slim and fears about the symptoms of miscarriage, ectopic and other frightening stuff related to pregnancy.

I was given duphaston and another drug which I need to take for 7 days.  I was told to rest at home…
I obediently followed.

Ken was extra careful with me… He almost never made me move.

Spotting was happening sporadically.

It’s the holiday season and there are several reunions going on… I was extra careful with how I walk and talk… I was cautious about every movement…

Another PT came out positive. We smiled.

Dec 21:

We attended the christening of my god daughter, Anna, in Marikina, I was okay…no spotting.
Late afternoon came and I went to the toilet, there it was, thick brown spot :(

I told ken but asked him to be mum about it as I didn’t want to cause any commotion.

We got home at night and I was experiencing contractions (similar to when you are having cramps before your period).

Dec 22:

We are to meet Mama, Nei, Exe and Butchoy at ROb Imus since they will spend the night here to attend the village Christmas party and also to be with us on our house blessing.

We did our grocery before they arrived.

When we got home, I felt the need to pee.

And there came out solids and clots of blood.

I was able to see a sac like stuff covered with blood.  I was so shocked but I was able to control my reaction. I told Ken and asked for it to be kept between the two of us till we see a doctor.

I was crying every now and then days after that…
In my mind, I knew I had a miscarriage but my heart hoped that baby is still in my tummy.

Another pt came out faintly negative. I dunno if my imagination makes me believe that there’s another line.

We spent the holidays merrily with our families.

I received pregnancy blouses as gifts… I was getting bigger especially in the middle and everybody’s excited about the pregnancy.

My mother in law was extremely careful with me… always finding a seat for me to make sure I don’t stress my body.

Jan 8:

After our shift, Ken and I went home to rest.

1130 am we left for the hospital (new hospital and new OB).

We got there and when asked if I was pregnant (for concerns about hmo coverage)– I said I wasn’t sure and told them what happened. They made me take another PT and it came out negative :(

I was sad and didn’t know how to react but I tried to keep my composure.

The new ob is good— she made us understand what could’ve caused the miscarriage… and she offered to help us make my womb healthy before conceiving again.

Then another TVS, equipment’s better than the other hosp and there was a TV where I can see what is seen in the ultrasound monitor.  Even at that moment, I was hopeful that a baby will show up— but there was none.

I felt sad, depressed and still hopeful.

Ken makes it easy for me to deal with it… with his optimism and bright aura… everything seems fine…

We even managed to eat at a decent Chinese resto where we enjoyed Yang Chown and Beef with brocolli while talking about it.

I know that God will send an angel soon…

I still thank God that despite what happened, Ken and I are still strongly together and we have support and love from both our families— esp our Moms.

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