Friday, October 31, 2008
The not so romantic facts about love
Oct 28, 2008 by Dr. Majoe Juan Badiola
When we talk about relationships, we associate it with romance, making love, and friendship. But you must also know that the least romantic aspects of a relationship have the most to teach about yourself, your partner, and love in general.
Here are some realities.
You’ll work harder than you ever imagined.
Relationships come with major responsibilities. They grow and evolve; thus, everyday is a learning experience. Learning is sometimes painful, but it will make you stronger. Relationships are not always a bed of roses. Don’t easily give up; efforts give endless rewards.
You will sometimes go to bed angry (and wake up angrier).
There are some fights that stubbornly refuse to abate by bedtime—which is not an absolute deadline for fights. When you are still mad, you can sleep on it because you need to calm down. Maybe the next morning, you have gained a new perspective. It is also possible that the next morning, you will still be upset and reignite the fight. This can work positively, as it exhausts all the negative feelings; whereas you may kiss and make up before sleeping but repress wounded feelings.
Compromise is better than “I am right.”
People tend to feel good when they know that they are right. Yet arguments are prolonged because each party claims she or he is right. This should not be the case because the more you insist you are right, the more discontented your partner will be. So instead of disagreements, why not have more patience and learn the value of compromise?
Conflict means we are trying to get it right.
Fighting occasionally is healthy. It is as important as compromise. During fights, couples not only raise their points but also bring unresolved issues to the surface. When two people engage in a fight, it means they are affected. When the urge to fight withers, the relationship is doomed: remember, the opposite of love is not hate or anger but indifference.
You can change only yourself.
You’ll just get exhausted if you keep nagging your partner to change his habits or mindset. Trying to change a fully molded person is impossible. The easier task will be to change the way you respond to your partner. Learn how to respect the person he or she is. You must love that person not only for what he is, but also for what he is not.
Is there such thing as forever? This question is commonly asked, but the meaning and impact will only be felt when problems kick in. Yes, your love can last forever. But it is entirely up to you if you will put up with your partner or give up the fight.