A WAHM Writes

when i meet love again, i hope i’ll be enough. i hope it chooses me without wanting to change me. i hope i'm exactly what it’s looking for. and if it finds out i'm a work-in-progress and a little damaged, i hope it still sees me as someone worth staying with. when i meet love again, i hope it's clear. i hope it shows up as love, not sadness in disguise or just temporary happiness posing as romance. i hope it knows that loving me means having me on my best days and also my boring, weak, and unlovable days. when i meet love again, i hope it meets me halfway. i hope it’s excited to be loved right, just as it wants to love me right. i hope it’s the one that will happily reciprocate my energy, learn my habits and languages, and go the extra mile to show me what i deserve. and finally, when i meet love again, i hope this time it’s meant to last

august 2023 was a turning point. it was the month that everything fell apart, and yet somehow, it’s the month that set me on a path toward something unexpected—something that feels like freedom. when my husband left, it was like a storm hit my life. the pain was real, raw, and I cried for a month straight. there were days I felt like I couldn’t breathe, let alone move forward. but in the quiet of my grief, I found the strength to rebuild. I prayed, whispered my hopes into the stillness, and something amazing happened: I found a job at an amazing company. it’s everything I’d wanted—a night shift, so I can still be there for my daughter during the day. it pays well, gives me the balance I need, and feels like the universe heard my prayers. I got a new car—something that feels like a symbol of the new life I’m carving. every morning, I drive my daughter to school, and every afternoon, I’m there to pick her up. I cherish these moments with her, watching her grow and knowing I’m present for...

M is an only child. But not really... we have two more but both were too special, God took them back right away. Genesis is M's Kuya. I wrote about our first miscarriage in Jan 2009. In 2016, we gained another angel. But it was too painful, I managed to lock the memory in. I've spent years trying not to think about what happened.  I think I erased it from my mind. Today is Angelina's 6th year in heaven. As I recover and heal, the memory of losing her is slowly coming back. 2016 It was a really busy year. It was a busy year for Kenny and KANSIS Made. It was a busy year for McKenzie. It was a busy year for me as a WAHM. We were all too busy, we didn't know I was pregnant. In August, we went to Bacolod with Ken for his Dremel Brand Ambassador stint. I had spotting when we were inflight. But I didn't really mind it. I thought my period was coming. --- these parts are still missing, I will try to add when I remember. Sep 7 we rushed M to the hospital where she was admi...

Do you remember our family's 3k Beach Getaway Challenge in 2016? We were able to spend a day in Stilts Calatagan and with enough money left, we had bulalo dinner in Tagaytay on our way home. We went back sometime in 2019 and stayed in one of their Casitas but I wasn't able to write about it. 😔 It's almost a year since the pandemic started and although we are looking at brighter days ahead with the vaccine availability, we don't know yet when things will go back to the regular normal. 😕 A year in quarantine means no beach getaways, no staycations, not even weekend malling with our daughter. I've gone out less myself - a couple of grocery shopping with my husband, salon with my friend and visits to family for special events. And although I can say we got used to the New Normal way of life, there are still moments of anxiety and cabin fever. The human need of being out of the house from time to time is mostly overpowered by the fear of getting the virus. A few weeks ...

✅ To each his own. I am sharing my daily ECQ life not to put pressure on anyone or to make other moms feel like they're not doing their part in ensuring their kids don't get sulked in by the tech world. I am sharing because this is my way of coping. I am sharing because in a few years when my little one is older, I want to be able to reminisce this time of COVID 19. I want to remember how we endured together. How we made each day, each hour, and each moment count. I am sharing because doing it would lighten up the situation. My little one is unique. And as her mom, I know her. I know how to make her happy. I know how to make her content. I know because I was with her since she came out into the world. I know her because I left my career to focus on her growth and development. I know her because, in the middle of an 8 or 10-hour workday, chores and everything else, I stop everything when she needs me to check out her new drawing, to witness a new skill, to look at something that...

After another focused discussion with the little one about transferring to another school, we finally decided it's time to move.  The present COVID situation made me think twice but after hearing her insights about it, I think it is still in her best interest to transfer. I lost count of the days in quarantine. This week, our area is imposing a clustering system - those with quarantine passes are only allowed to go out 3 days a week. And still following the ECQ rules. It's been more of making each day and each hour count. My husband works from 8am to 6pm with an hour lunch break. My work hours are flexible so I usually do my tasks after my lunch chores. I make it a point to give McKenzie a lesson or a Math exercise every day except weekends - this is how she earns her gadget hours. Right now, we are using her Grade 4 textbook as a resource. She also TRIES to practice her violin pieces every day. They have a virtual lesson on Sundays. Art is something that she loves doing. We ha...

February will be a turning point in our life. I've been working at home for 10 years. My husband followed a few months after but also went fulltime into business in 2018. Everything was good. Our freelance career paid for our house, our car, our daughter's schooling, and dance lessons. But things changed in Sept 2019. I lost my only contract. I had to stress that because it was the first time in my entire freelance career that I devoted myself to just one job. But life goes on. After assessing our situation, my husband and I decided that he needs to get a more stable job but still retain KANSIS Made . And I still need a freelance contract that I can do at home so I can take care of the business. After months and months of applying, he was able to get into the perfect job! I consider it perfect because of a lot of things: it is about 20 minutes away from our place, it is a reputable company, the position is something I believe he would love doing, and the work schedule w...